Thursday, July 3, 2008

Developmental Narcissism


Here's a significant post from a friend:

Developmental narcissism is when some wonderful concepts get twisted ever so slightly so that the focus becomes inordinately self-centered. It’s all about me …my fulfillment, my calling, my purpose, my ultimate contribution, my life plan, my role, my gifts, natural abilities and acquired skills, my values, my vision, my ministry, my, my, my….

Read the whole thing.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Questioning Knowledge


Read the full article here, and then leave your comments below.

Knowledge is past; Questions are future.

Knowledge is rigid; Questions can learn.

Knowledge is static; Questions are dynamic.

Knowledge puffs up; Questions take humility.

Knowledge limits options; Questions create possibilities.

Knowledge requires adaption; Questions require innovation.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Coaching from the Road

This summer I'm in the Seattle area for my family's every-two-years visit. So I'm coaching from the road. Here's a few observations:

  • Don't use your travel as an excuse. Honor your clients by not making excuses for poor connection or background distractions or postponements.

  • Schedule your coaching appointments all in a row. Last Thursday I coached 5 people in Asia from 5pm to 11pm with 15 mins between calls. Because they were all one evening, I wasn't distracted the rest of week by appointments, nor did I forget any. This summer I'm basically coaching Tuesday mornings and Thursday evenings. My clients were happy to accommodate my limited schedule.

  • Pay careful attention to timezones, and set according to the client's timezone. Try inputing all your coaching sessions on your computer's calendar with a timezone attached to the event. The calendar then adjusts the time to your local time. When your local time changes the appointment slides to a new time accordingly. The website www.timeanddate.com can also help.

  • Check out ahead of time your way of connecting (phone, Skype, etc) and make sure your clients know how you'll connect. Or figure it out once you get to your destination and email your clients if there are any changes.

  • Transition between other things you're doing and your coaching. Take a few minutes before hand to center yourself, pray, and be fully present. Rather than allowing your travel or new location being a distraction, tap into what the new environment stimulates in you during your coaching and use that.

  • Enjoy your travel and your coaching!

    Thursday, May 15, 2008

    New Book: Coaching Questions


    The single most important skill in coaching is asking powerful questions. An incisive question posed at just the right moment can be a life-changing experience.

    In this volume, master coach trainer Tony Stoltzfus joins with 12 other professional coaches (including me, Keith Webb) to present dozens of valuable asking tools, models and exercises, and illustrates them with over 1,000 examples of penetrating coaching questions. Covering the gamut from basic techniques like options and actions to advanced concepts such as challenge and reframing, Coaching Questions is a book that will find a home on any coach's short list of handy references.

    Instead of just offering lists of questions, this book connects the question examples with the coaching tool they are used with and their place in the coaching conversation, and teaches you to use the tools as well. The focus on tools plus examples makes it a reference guide you'll return to again and again.

    You can purchase this directly from Tony.

    What do you think of this book? Leave a comment.

    Thursday, May 8, 2008

    The Freedom of Choice


    Americans worship choice.

    The freedom to choose seems to be one of its highest cultural values. Consider:
    * 302 breakfast cereals
    * 94 shampoos
    * 100+ types of dog food
    * Democracy
    * A tall decafe extra shot skinny vanilla latte
    * 3 worship services, each with a different style of music, sermon length, and dress code

    Many cultural contexts around the world allow for little independent decision making, unless you are a senior ranking person.

    Expatriates, including coaches, are sometimes unaware of how this dynamic effects them and their clients. Becoming aware of and working through social environments can maximize results.

    Read the whole article here.

    Click "comment" below and tell us what you think.

    Saturday, March 29, 2008

    New Eyes, Not New Knowledge

    In coaching the goal is not new information or knowledge. Here's why: more knowledge from the same perspective will produce the same sort of actions.

    Transformation comes by increasing the coachee's perspective - helping him or her to see the same world in new ways, through new eyes.

    Read the whole article here.

    Click "comment" below and tell us what you think.

    Friday, March 21, 2008

    The Focus of Coaching Over the Phone


    I've noticed that coaching over the telephone (or Skype if it's a good connection) brings a focus to the conversation that in-person coaching doesn't.

    A coaching session on the phone is focused more fully on the client's needs and agenda, and less on the social requirements of meeting together. For one, you can cut the socially required 30 mins of small talk prior to and after an in-person coaching appointment. Instead, replacing it with what the coachee, not society, really needs. A busy schedule keeps many coaches and clients from pursuing face to face meetings. It takes time to travel to meet, and time to get ready. Many more people will commit to coaching if it's just a twice a month one hour call.

    But is telephone coaching as good as in-person?

    Better, says an article in today's International Herald Tribune. It says, "The late Canadian media guru Marshall McLuhan said that radio is a "hot" medium, whereas television is a "cool" medium, meaning that radio, like the telephone, forces you to focus entirely on the voice, the spoken word, making them much more intimate. You can acquire more information in listening to what people are saying and how they're saying it, than searching for visual clues."

    I also find that I'm less distracted in my office using the phone (if I've turned off my email program like a good coach) than if I'm meeting somewhere outside.

    What's your experience? Comment here.

    Thursday, March 6, 2008

    Culture, Coaching, and the Brain


    A few years ago my buddy Takeshi told me about Geography of Thought, a book that makes a case that East Asians and Westerners (Americans) think differently. Great book. I review it here.

    I've also been hearing about how neuroscience has been discovering the physical reasons for why coaching is effective. See here.

    Now neuroscientists are finding physical evidence of cultural patterns in our though processes. See here.

    All very fascinating with huge implications to how we work cross-culturally. For me it increases the expertise needed to coach across cultures. If perceptions and thought patterns are seemingly hardwired into our brains by culture, then the coach better understand that and be able to tap into the strengths of that wiring.

    What are your thoughts?

    Tuesday, March 4, 2008

    My Journey into Coaching

    This month I'd like to share a bit of my journey into coaching. I'm not naturally good at coaching. It was out of desperation to lead in empowering, non-directive ways that I began to learn how to coach.

    Read the whole article here.

    Click "comment" below and tell us what you think.

    Monday, February 18, 2008

    Core Coaching Skills in Burgundy, France

    The acclaimed Core Coaching Skills Certificate Program to be held in Burgundy, France June 8-12, 2009.

    This 60-hour professional coach training is for ministry leaders who wishes to gain foundational and advanced coaching skills. This unique program focuses on core coaching skills through a Christian and cross-cultural worldview. Leaders reflect on their current behavior and leadership styles to create a unique blend for greater leadership effectiveness.

    Information on the Core Coaching Skills program is here. The specific Burgundy program details are here.